


Reflection

by Knuxfan24



Category: Original Work
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-25 10:07:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30087474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knuxfan24/pseuds/Knuxfan24
Summary: Terra tries to drink to forget, only to need to remember everything for the sake of telling Charlotte just why she's a broken soul.





	Reflection

Terra groaned, her head resting on her table, her half empty glass of beer in her hand. She knew that she would regret everything come the morning, but right now? She didn’t care, she took another swig, her head pounding, the pain of it helping keep her mind off things.  
Every time she closed her eyes, she saw herself, but not the vision of herself she wanted. She’d always pictured herself as a fighter, a badass who’d take no shit. Terra couldn’t help but drunkenly scoff at herself, “You’re just a fucking coward.” She hiccuped to herself, downing the rest of her beer in one shot, coughing and gagging slightly before resting her head back on the table for a bit, the noise in the bar blurring together.  
She soon got up, picking up her glass and paying for a refill. The sensible part of her brain told her that she was only succeeding in destroying herself and her wallet, while the, much stronger, irrational part was telling her that this was the quickest and easiest way to get over her… incident.  
Terra quickly went back to her table, taking a swig of her freshly served alcohol before her thoughts could wonder to her life changing moment, although she put her hand to the eyepatch over her left eye, feeling herself shudder a bit as she reminded herself just why she had it. ‘Because you were an idiot…’ She felt her doubts telling her, ‘A fool who felt like she could do what the national guard couldn’t.’ Her doubts mocked her, forcing her to drink more to block them out.

She could never help herself, every night her mind drifted, she closed her eyes, but could only picture the same scenario; her hoisted off the ground by a hand around her throat, the tip of a blade against her left eye. Remembering it made her feel sick every time, and every time she found herself drinking to try and force the memory out of her mind.  
Yet it never worked, and she always paid the price for it the following morning…

* * *

Charlotte finally left her office, idly waving good night to a coworker on her way out, checking the time on her phone and groaning. Thanks to her volunteering some overtime to help with a few of the newer employee’s cases, she’d been late enough getting out of work that her usual coffee shop would already be closed for the night.  
She got into her car, getting out her mobile and unlocking it, pulling up her map application and setting a waypoint for the next best thing, a bar she occasionally visited. “Their coffee’s naff but it’ll do…” She said to herself as she started her car, “Rather not take a massive detour just to get a decent cup this late…”

She arrived a few minutes later. Stepping into the bar, the first thing that caught her eye was a sight that made her sigh, a familiar black haired woman in a pink hoodie slumped over a table with a nearly full glass of beer lazily clutched in her hand. Charlotte headed over to the bar, requesting a cup of coffee for herself, before looking over to Terra, trying to estimate how much she’d already drank. “Gimme a glass of water as well.” She requested, sitting and waiting, keeping an eye on Terra, in case she lifted her head. ‘Could be asleep for all I know…’ Charlotte thought to herself.  
She soon received her orders, getting up and walking to Terra’s table, sitting down across from her, seeing the other, younger woman lift her head slightly at the sound. “Water.” Charlotte firmly said, pushing the glass to Terra, suspecting that she’d had quite a lot of beer just from looking at her.

Terra quietly and slowly picked up the glass of water, putting it to her lips and sipping it. Part of her was thankful that someone she vaguely knew had shown up, the other half of her a strange mix of irritated and embarrassed, her drunken self having wanted nothing more than to fall asleep at the table.  
She glanced to Charlotte as she quietly drunk her water. She wasn’t about to lie, Terra always found herself slightly intimidated by the other woman and being face to face with her while in one of her more vulnerable states sent a slight shiver down her spine. Something Charlotte evidently noticed.

“It seems like most of the times I see you you’re either passed out or hungover.” The business woman said, adjusting her glasses, “Why?” She bluntly asked.

“You know why…” Terra found herself muttering, before silently cursing out her drunken, bitter side for acting, feeling herself shrink in a little at the sight of Charlotte’s eyebrow raise.

“Do I?” She said, “Let me tell you something Terra, of the five of us, I’m the only one who DOESN’T know the details behind you. The others have tried to tell me, but I don’t want to hear it from them.” Charlotte paused, taking off her glasses to clean them before putting them back on. “In my work, I get my initial information from the source before hearing external reports. It’s a philosophy that’s never steered me wrong. It's also the philosophy I decided to stick by the moment I laid eyes on you. Until I hear your story from you, I cannot help you deal with it.”

Terra stayed silent for a while, looking down at the glass of water, mostly to avoid eye contact with Charlotte, she hated telling the story of what happened to her, but Charlotte herself had basically said that she wouldn’t be satisfied until she’d heard it straight from her. She took a deep breath, before looking up, “O-OK…” She said quietly, before starting to recount her… incident.

* * *

She remembered hearing the commotion late one afternoon, glancing out of her window to see what looked like soldiers being mowed down by a woman with strange, see-through wings, using what looked like magic powers. Terra couldn’t help but feel a sense of excitement, “This is just like the setup for a great confrontation in an action game!” She'd told herself, grabbing the slightly rusty sword that she liked to occasionally swing around and running downstairs.

She knew now that she was being foolish, but at the time, Terra had always seen herself as a budding hero, all she needed was a foe to prove herself. She was convinced she’d finally found the scenario she needed as she left her home and sprinted to the commotion she’d seen in time to see a soldier being tossed aside. She had the perfect opportunity for a sneak attack and took it, running forward and bringing her blade down to strike the mysterious woman from behind, only for her to suddenly spin around and block the strike with the bloody katana in her right hand.

“More vermin…?” The woman had said, forcing Terra back a bit with her blade, looking over her with an expression she hadn’t quite been able to read at the time.

“Vermin!?” Terra remembered responding in disbelief. She shuddered a bit as she remembered boasting about how she was going to be a strong hero to the woman. She’d earned herself a look of amusement at the time, which she realised now was simply them toying with her.

She’d gone on the offence again, taking various swings that were all effortlessly blocked by the woman, infuriating Terra to no end. “Fight me!” She remembered demanding, seeing a smirk on her opponent’s lips in response.

The next thing Terra knew, she had the tip of the woman’s katana through her stomach, freezing her in place with shock. At the time, she’d barely even felt the pain, her eyes fixed on the woman’s cruel expression.

“The name’s Glitchina, sweetie. Don’t forget it.” She’d said without prompting, kicking her off her blade, before walking over, conjuring a ball of lightning in her hand as she went and throwing it at Terra, forcing her to scream in agony as she was zapped, before feeling Glitchina’s hand around her neck, hoisting her into the air. “You’re no hero in a work of fiction.” She’d said, holding her katana up and touching the tip of the blade to Terra’s left eye, “You’re just a human, stifling evolution, like all the others. Rash. Childish. Vermin.” She’d said, before slowly and agonisingly cutting Terra’s eye with her katana.

Her blood always ran cold every time she remembered it. She remembered the feeling of her choking in agony as Glitchina destroyed her eye, the feeling of pain through her whole body once she was dropped to the ground, barely able to focus her vision as she saw the woman draw her second blade. She remembered seeing Glitchina’s lips move at the time, but not actually hearing what she said, in fact, that was the last thing she’d managed to see before she blacked out.

* * *

Terra hadn’t even noticed that she’d started to cry during her recount until she became aware of Charlotte offering her a tissue, a rare look of sympathy on her face.

“I was childish…” She said as she dried her eye, “She was right… I just… At the time… I… I thought that I was cut out for action. That if I just proved myself…” She trailed off as Charlotte gently took her hand.

“Terra. You couldn’t have known what you were going up against at the time.” She said, her usual stern tone of voice dropped in favour of a much softer one, “Glitchina’s an abomination, you had no way of knowing that She would do that to you.” Charlotte told her, “'ina saved you, I know that much, she told me herself. I specifically had to request that she not tell me any details until I could hear your side.”

“And yet just being around her terrifies me…” Terra admitted, not that it was much of a secret that she always seemed tense when in Knuxina’s presence, “I know she’s not… Her… But I… I can’t help but see her like that…” She trailed off, wanting nothing more than to grab and drink from her unfinished glass of beer to drown out her memories, but she didn’t bother; she knew Charlotte would stop her.

“I understand.” She heard Charlotte say, “You’re suffering from extreme trauma, 'ina’s similarity to Glitchina is bound to set it off. But Terra, drinking yourself to death isn’t the way to deal with it.” She noticed Charlotte’s firm tone come back immediately, “What you need is therapy. You need professional help, not alcohol.” She heard Charlotte say, seeing her stand up and walk around to her. “You can stay at mine tonight, I’ll take some time off work and make some calls, see if I can’t get you an appointment.” Charlotte told her, feeling the other woman’s hand on her shoulder.

Terra felt herself stay quiet for an awkwardly long time, before she managed to croak out.  
“Thank you…”

**Author's Note:**

> Trying to write a character drinking to deal with trauma as someone who's never touched alcohol in his life was... difficult.  
> Anyway, the idea came to me of Terra trying various (often self-destructive ways) to deal with her past trauma, which I then realised I could use as a way to build some character development for her, using Charlotte as a slight audience surrogate, so this is what I came up with.


End file.
